Just a whole bunch of random and crazy thoughts in my head
1. I'm really tired of being away from my husband, it's really hard, I do not wish single motherhood on anyone. But at least we are half way done with all these away rotations and I'm so excited to see him tomorrow night. Plus we finally found a place for him to stay in New Jersey and that relieves a ton of stress!
2. I'm kind of tired of being poor, I really want a new purse or some new clothes and would really love to color my hair again, some day.
3. I'm loving watching Greydon learn new things everyday. I love that he is constantly saying "whats this?" and so curious about everything around him. I also love that he calls Popsicles "pockabooms", it doesn't even sound close to Popsicles but its just so darn cute. I also love that his two favorite things are trucks and princesses, he is such and boy and loves boy things but he also loves joining his sister in all of her things. He just loves Leila and follows her around and tries to do everything she is doing.
4. I'm really trying to love Leila's opinionated personality but its hard. She has been really, really, really hard lately. I really struggle with how to work with her on all of her issues. Most people don't understand how difficult she really is. Sometimes a feel judged by other people, like it's my fault the way she is or that I'm not doing a good enough job or I'm not disciplining her the correct way. I've had some really bad mom moments lately where I've said things that I wish I hadn't but I've been at my wits end. I am thankful that I have a background in behavioral training that has helped me a ton and helped me be a lot more patient with her.
5. I've definitely hit my third trimester, things are starting to get uncomfortable and I'm exhausted. I had my glucose test which came back normal but also showed I'm anemic so hopefully the iron I'm now taking will help me get some of my energy back. Only ten more weeks, which I want to go by fast because I'm kind of tired of being pregnant but I'm also not so sure I'm ready to have this baby, three really scares me and its alot easier having him in me than out.
6. Speaking of baby boy, we still don't have a name for him and haven't even really talked about it. I really don't want to wait until he is born before we decide but it may come down to that. Another thing about this baby boy is he is super duper active, he is constantly moving, I don't think he ever sleeps.
7. I never really had any cravings with my other two pregnancies other than I liked chewing ice but this one I craved salads during my first trimester, green grapes during the second trimester and now I'm craving lemonade and chewing ice.
8. I've read a ton of books lately and just finished Jane Eyre, which I really liked and I'm excited to see the movie when it comes out on DVD in a couple of weeks.
9. I'm really missing my friends at home, it feels like ages since I've seen them and I feel so out of the loop. It will be nice to get back home and get back into a routine. I'll miss being in Utah, the cooler weather and the help from family but it will be nice to be back in our home.
10. And last, I'm so excited for Paul to be here for a week, I know I already mentioned it but I can hardly wait to see him tomorrow!
Sorry for all the random stuff but I needed to right stuff down so I can remember what is going on in our lives.
5 comments:
You need to get back to all of us that understand Leila, so you don't feel judged. :) You really haven't missed anything here. There has only been like 3 of us in town. It's been sad. :( But the next couple of months we will definitely be good friends since we'll both be single moms! Miss you!
Isn't it so silly how as mothers we feel sometimes so bad for struggling, like everyone else has it all together. you are going throw one of the toughest times ever!!! Its not smooth sailing after he graduates at all but its sometimes just nice to be moving forward instead of the same things for 4years. I hope that you have a wonderful week with your husband!! Call us if you need me to come take your little ones for awhile!! We love visitors!!
i've been missing you like crazy lately! its not the same without you guys. you haven't missed a whole lot though. mostly just a lot of hot weather. :) have fun next week with paul, tell him hi for us. and if it makes you feel better this past week i've been pretty convinced that anyone could do a better job mothering my kids than me. its just plain hard sometimes! you're doing great! see you soon!
I can pull your hair thru a cap to high lite it...if u get desperate.
I've been there with the parenting and feeling judged. Actually, I'm still there although I don't pay as much attention to the judging part. Unless you walk in someone elses shoes, you don't get it. If jotting your feelings down helps, then keep on doing it. It makes you real. Hang in there!
If you get back into town before book club we'll definitely be getting together to watch Jane Eyre!
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